Backpass: We'll fight the whole state of Texas if we have to
Opening matches, what does pre-season mean, and my sleeper cities for MLS expansion
MLS revealed all the home openers this week, with the Rapids opening on the road in Frisco, Texas against FC Dallas, followed by our first home game of 2021 against MLS expansion club and fellow Texans, Austin FC.
Itβs an interesting study in contrasts for Colorado. Dallas, once known as the βBurnβ, are an MLS original club thatβs been around for 23 years, while Austin will be playing in just their second game ever. Dallasβ roster is exceedingly young - Austinβs first team is mostly older, experienced MLSers. FC Dallas are owned by Clark Hunt, son of Lamar Hunt, whose name is on the US Open Cup; and who, at one point in the 2000s, help saved MLS as a league by owning three of the leagueβs franchises himself. The Hunts are a beloved American soccer family. Austin FC, owned by Anthony Precourt, was supposed to be the relocated-version of the Columbus Crew until fans fought tooth-and-nail to keep their beloved Crew in town. MLS stepped in and waved a magic wand to grant the Haslem family an expansion team in Columbus (I mean, not for free; Don Garberβs not stupid) and so Precourtβs team is technically his old club, just stripped of their colors and trophies and history. Precourt, it goes without saying, is uniformly reviled by soccer fans everywhere; except in Austin.
Thereβs a fair amount of hate for ex-pat Texans in Colorado - and for Texans in general - in addition to some MLS fan criticism of the state. Soccer fans like to joke that the distant suburb of Frisco is not Dallas, and having been there, I can tell you it is quite a haul out of the city from downtown. Toyota Stadium in Frisco is often mocked for being empty, and for having a weird shape where thereβs a big nonsensical concrete beer garden between the locker rooms and the field. All of these digsβ¦ the suburban stadium, the poor attendance, and the awkward shaped stadium also hit the Commerce City-based Colorado Rapids, who have struggled at the near-bottom of the league in attendance, and also constructed their stadium along a plan for being a prΓͺt-Γ‘-porter concert venue. For me, I feel a brotherhood with any fan base that has to emotionally contend with the knowledge that their football team is massively less popular at their home field than Blink-182, ZZ Top, or Ed Sheeran.1 I like Ed Sheeran. I donβt think Iβd show up to hear him perform 17 times a year or wear his face on a shirt.
As for Austin, itβs going to be another one of those βhate the team, not the fansβ things that I have to psychologically maneuver just like RSL and Charlotte Independence. Itβs not their fault they were cursed into being in a town with an evil owner/our bitter interstate-rival. Baby, they were born that way.
As I mentioned on the pod this week, FC Dallas should be a tough test for the Rapids - their team is very young and very talented. Head Coach Luchi Gonzalez seems to have them playing at the highest levels - they were just one goal short of knocking off MLS Cup runners-up Seattle in the playoffs last year, despite some key injuries. Their roster boasts young prodigies Tanner Tessman, Jesus Fereira, and Ricardo Pepi, and recently produced European-bound domestics Bryan Reynolds and Reggie Cannon. Other than perennial MLS All-Star2 centerback Matt Hedges, I have question about their backline, but this is a tough first match away for the burgundy.
Austin FC, on the other hand, should be a gimme putt. New expansion teams almost always flounder out of the gate: it took FC Cincinnati three games to get their first MLS win; it took Minnesota United five games; and it took Inter Miami six.3 Iβm also really unsure of what Austin have built so far: they started with some experienced MLS players that are good, but moving towards the past-their-prime phase of their careers, like Ben Sweat, Matt Besler, Aaron Schoenfeld, Alex Ring, Danny Hoesen, and Kekuta Manneh. To that, they added unknown South American DPs TomΓ‘s Pochettino and Cecilio Dominguez, who could turn out to be anything from Seattleβs Raul Ruidiaz ( π ) to Torontoβs Gilberto ( π€¦πΌββοΈ ).
This team is probably not very good, but there isnβt a huge reason to try and build a really good team in your first season. Your first season in MLS is just like getting nominated for an Oscar when youβre up against Tom Hanks or Meryl Streep - you should just be happy to be there.4 Hopefully that means that the Rapids give them a them a right good beating.
β¦
Pre-season means something! But not really
The team has escaped the fickle weather of early-spring Colorado (letβs be honest, all the weather in Colorado is fickle except for in July and August) for the pre-season sunshine of training in Arizona. In addition, they released their pre-season schedule:
Their March 16 opener is a strange one - 45 minutes against Portland, and also 45 minutes against USLβs Phoenix Rising. You can reasonably assume that game will β¦ not be streamed or televised.5
Letβs be honest: the pre-season opponents donβt matter. The Rapids are just trying to get game-fit, and maybe make some final roster decisions about who to keep in Commerce City and who to send down to Colorado Springs or on-loan to another USL team. Matt and I did a rapid-fire breakdown of who we think makes the roster and doesnβt on the podcast, but regardless of our half-baked opinions, these six games will actually be fairly important in determining whether Matt Hundley, Philip Mayaka, Oliver Larraz, Yaya Toure, Seb Anderson, Michael Edwards, and Darren Yapi need to rent a place at a cookie-cutter townhouse in Northfield, or instead book their weekly spa treatment at the Broadmoor. My two-cents - all those guys should buy a compound in Castle Rock and split the difference.
β¦
SacTown Bows Out
Itβs pretty pathetic to be a billionaire who commits to, then un-commits to, buying an MLS expansion team because you canβt afford it just a month after you buy Michael Jacksonβs Neverland Ranch, but thatβs what Ron Burkle did last week. Look, he gets to spend his money however he wants, but you have to feel for Sacramento fans, who have more than demonstrated themselves to be ready to make the jump to MLS.
MLS is going to expand from its current start-of-2022 season 29 teams to 32 teams quite soon, and I daresay theyβll keep on going right up to 36 before the end of the decade. The Athleticβs Sam Stejskal and Paul Tenorio opined that the five teams in the running for the next spots are Sacramento (still), Detroit, Las Vegas, Phoenix, and San Diego, and those two guys are smart, and betting them is generally dumb. But Iβll play ball.
Four of those five suggestions are good. However, Detroit has no business in that list, in my humble opinion, because nobodyβs bothered to create a USL or NASL team in Detroit in the last 30 years. Instead, Detroitβs only pro soccer team is the fiercely independent and counter-culture Detroit City FC in NISA, who want nothing to do with MLS. There are more elements to succeeding as an MLS franchise than matching βGuys with a lot of moneyβ with βa city of reasonable sizeβ. Detroit hasnβt build a soccer culture that would support MLS. Sure, they could do it between now and 2030, but all of the other MLS cities of the past expansions had the 2nd or 3rd tier team and its supporters building towards something. Detroit starts with nothing - I think they get nothing.
I want to add a few other possibilities to the list, especially considering I think MLS will barely slow down on expansion once they hit 32. These would be my next couple picks for the league:
Louisville
Louisville has a successful USL team with a brand-spanking-new soccer specific facility in a growing market. In addition, they already have an NWSL team, too, which I think is an important thing for MLS to consider - having a gender-parity soccer partnership in town is an undervalued plus right now. Thereβs so many opportunities for crossover. Their one challenge as far as I can tell is: their ownership group had, at last count 47 members, all millionaires, but no big whale. Theyβd need to get that person in order to make the leap.
Tampa Bay
Second verse! Same as the first! The Rowdies are OG USL royalty, and, again, they have a gorgeous soccer stadium. In addition, Tampa is the 18th-largest metro area in the US - which is a lot bigger than Louisville (46th-largest).
Oakland
They only just recently made the jump to USL, but Northern California is a soccer hotbed, so this feels right. An Oakland/SF vs San Jose rivalry would be an epic soccer pairing, and I feel like the tech-billionaire money means that FC Facebook vs Google United is only a matter of time.
Indianapolis
Another city with a successful USL team and a large metro market, plus theyβd play a natural geographic rival to Kansas City, Cincinnati, and Columbus. Call it the βBar-b-que, Corn, and Urban Decayβ division of MLS.
Omaha / Santa Fe / Boise / San Bernardino / Little Rock
The downside of a larger metro area is that a pro soccer franchise has to compete for sports entertainment dollars against the NBA, MLB, NFL, and NHL. With all of the cities above, an MLS franchise can claim fame to being βthe only top-tier professional franchise in townβ - and thatβd be worth a lot of local support. In fact, Iβm going to have my secretary get Warren Buffett, the Oracle of Omaha, on the phone as soon as I finish writing this.
A third team in NYC, and maybe a fourth
Hear me out. Yes, itβs a little nutty to give New York a third team before some states ever have one team, but it makes perfect sense to me. Metropolitan NYC has 19 million people, or the equivalent of about six Denvers. Londonβs only got 14 million people, and it supports 12 soccer teams in the top four divisions, including 6 in the Premiership. I think establishing New York City in this mold would be a stroke of genius. Imagine if Red Bull became the Manhattan/NJ franchise; NYCFC became the Bronxβ team; Brooklyn got a franchise of itβs own; and maybe even Queens built a team, too. The moneyβs there - the TV market is there - and the inter-city derby potential is insane. The big challenge, of course, is stadiums - how can MLS go ahead with another New York team when the last one still hasnβt found a permanent home?
Donβt know, donβt care, I think itβs brilliant, letβs do it.
These three are all performers who have actually played Toyota. And now, for no particular reason, here is my ranking of some of the best bands who have played Frisco, in relation to the bands that have played DSGP (bold, italics). Itβs like the Mendoza Line except itβs the Trey Anastasio Line? Anyhow:
Wu-Tang Clan
Weezer
Social Distortion
Death Cab for Cutie
Modest Mouse
Phish
Korn
311
Paramore
Ed Sheeran
β β
The literal icy cold hand of death
Jimmy Buffett
All-star in 2017, β18, and β19; MLS Defender of the Year in 2016.
LAFC, on the other hand, won their first two games as a franchise, and in 1998 the expansion Chicago Fire won MLS Cup. The lesson here is that Bob Bradley is a demi-god and you should not doubt him. He is on a very short list of MLS personalities for whom being in their presence left me utterly terrified.
Do you like wikipedia rabbit holes? I like wikipedia rabbit holes. In trying to conjure the right two people for this metaphor I went down one and learned that the nominees for best actor at the 1972 Oscars were Marlon Brando, Peter OβToole, Lawrence Olivier, Michael Caine β¦ and Paul Winfield. The first four guys are Hollywood legends with a total of 20 Academy Awards between them. Winfield I only remember as having a small supporting role in The Terminator.
Which reminds me that the Rapids two opening games are not nationally televised, and so youβre gonna have to fire up the VPN or borrow your momβs AT&T password if you want to be able to see them.